On masculine and feminine energy — and why business is not the place to soften.
I was fifteen-ish when I decided to study agriculture and it was very much against my mother's wishes. Being the oldest of 2 girls, she thought I wanted to please my dad and very much wanted me to follow in her footsteps, into medicine — a clean, respectable path she understood and trusted. I chose dirt and weather and a man's world instead.
When she finally accepted she was not going to change my mind, she gave me one piece of advice I have carried for the rest of my career: never lose your femininity in a man's world. Men will respect you more for it.
I have been sitting with it again this week, because of something I heard that I can't stop turning over. Most of us are quietly exhausting ourselves by trying to run business on the wrong kind of fuel. The reframe is simple and a little disruptive: business belong in the masculine.
You might ask me if my mom's lesson ("keep your femininity") and this post's thesis ("business belongs in the masculine") can read as contradictory. But stay with me.
Two energies, not two genders
This is not about men and women. Masculine and feminine are energies — postures we can each step into. Masculine energy is structure, focus, decisiveness, boundaries, the willingness to make the hard call and hold the line. Feminine energy is intuition, nurture, creativity, collaboration, the ability to sense a room and hold space for the people in it. We need both - treat it as a superpower.
But somewhere along the way, many of us were handed the idea that to lead as women we had to lead with softness in every room — to make every decision feel warm, to keep everyone comfortable, to nurture the business the way we nurture the people we love.
Why the boardroom asks for your backbone
A business is a system. It runs on clear decisions, firm boundaries, follow-through, and the discipline to choose the unit economics over the urge to please. Those are masculine traits, and reaching for them is not a betrayal of your femininity — it is using the right tool for the job.
When we try to run the business on feminine energy alone, the costs are familiar: we over-explain a "no" and we let the boundary blur because someone might be disappointed, we carry the emotional weather of the whole team, we soften the hard call until it loses its edge. We mistake people-pleasing for leadership. I therefore want to urge you to give yourself permission to be structured, direct, and unbothered by being liked — to lead hard, on purpose.
So where does the feminine go?
Not away. Home. This is the part I love: you don't lose your feminine energy — you redirect it. Pour it into the places that are nourished by it. Your relationships. Your creative work and the projects that are yours alone. Your community, your faith, your rest, the garden you are actually allowed to tend slowly. The vision and the heart behind why you build at all.
So here is where I have landed. Masculine energy builds the business. Feminine energy builds the life the business is meant to serve. And I proudly keep my femininity when I lead hard in the masculine.
To carry with you this week
— Being decisive with boundaries in business is not "unfeminine." It is the right tool for the job.
— Notice where you are softening a hard call just to stay liked. That's people-pleasing wearing leadership's clothes.
— Give your feminine energy somewhere worthy to go — your relationships, your creativity, your rest. Don't burn it as fuel in the boardroom.
You don't have to lose who you are to lead hard in business. Stay yourself. Hold the line. Lead hard where it counts. Bloom soft everywhere else.
With love,
Christina
P.S. Forward this to a woman who is exhausting herself trying to be gentle in a room that needs her to be clear.
I would love to hear your thoughts and share your stories - connect with me at [email protected]
herloom • bloom where you are planted