I want to ask you one question today: “Who do you want to be?”
It is such an interesting question because I think as I was growing up, it was always what do you want to do when you grow up?
Sit with this for a bit. Find that one word to describe yourself. Define yourself. Now, literally, start to think about who and what is this woman? What does she read? Where does she go? How does she carry herself? How does she speak?
Society and social media try to mold us into certain shapes and sizes. On one hand, we are like, oh, you need to be beautiful to be successful. And then you have another group of people saying, oh, but if you choose to focus on your looks and your appearance, then you are superficial. I think there is a beautiful in between.
It goes back to the self-concept and the self-worth. You get to define what is beautiful and make sure you are included in that definition. For example, if you have been looking around and your definition of beauty is that you have to be a tall model and you have to have curvy hips and that is not how God made you, why would that be your definition of beauty? You have excluded yourself. Beauty comes in all shapes, all sizes, all colors. Make sure that your definition of beauty includes you.
There are the three pillars of self-image that we must focus on: mindset, style, and environment.
You are already worthy.
From a mindset perspective, it is this whole proving energy, like needing to prove you are worthy. I like to say the energy that you create, is how you experience everything. We are ambitious, because we are trying to prove something, right? We have something to build, something to prove, always something. And that also works in our favor, because we are hungry, we are determined, and we are going to not take that “no” for an answer. We are going to keep going because we want to prove that we can do it. But when you come from a fear-based, anxious, proving energy, it is always like it is never enough. You can hit the milestone. I know, I have, and still felt empty, like, oh, it must be in the next thing. And you keep throwing these bones out in front of you. Understand this - you are already worthy.
Dress to impress yourself, not the room.
Where does style come into all of this? I love knowing that style tells a story before you say a word. We live in a very visual world, and we also live in an energetic world. So how you dress is determining the energy that you put off, as well as what you are showing visibly to the world. I do not believe in dressing to impress other people. I believe in dressing to impress yourself. And that is going to look different for every single woman.
What makes you feel most like you? What clothes addresses your unique values? What clothes align with where you are going? And that is how you need to be showing up every single day.
And it can shift your state. I don't know about you, but there are days where I wake up and my mood wants me to grab sweats and not do my hair. And moods love to feed themselves. And so, you just feed this bad mood. But the moment I put on something that makes me feel better, I am putting my energy in a different direction. So, clothes are one of the tools that you can use to feel better.
We also literally make every decision about the person we are sitting in front of, even whether it is virtual or not, we judge a book by its cover. Whether it is right or wrong, it is how our brains are processing information. And we are show up in a way that does not fully represent us and how we want to be represented. As women we are 100% judged for our appearance more than men. I am not saying that this is right or wrong. I am just sharing facts. Therefore, we are not changing the game. We have to learn the rules and learn how to play the game if we want to win the game.
And this is not just for other people. It does make a difference in how others perceive us. But I believe when I feel great and I feel beautiful, I feel confident. And we all want to feel beautiful. Then, why are we choosing not to feel beautiful?
Your environment is shaping you. Audit it!
I love style and it has a huge impact, but environment is one thing that carries huge energy and has allowed me to shift my mindset the most. Environment includes your home, but it is also what you consume, who you are listening to, who you spend time with, the podcast that you listen to, the books you read. Everything you consume is a part of your environment. And what surrounds you, gets inside of you. So, if you want new possibilities, new states of being, you need to surround yourself with those things that mirror it back to you.
Pay attention. Notice what in your environment is draining you. Is it a particular group of friends? Is it clutter in a corner of your office? Just notice the impact of your environment and then choose one area that you are going to elevate.
Now here is your challenge for the week.
Pick one pillar. Just one.
Mindset: The next time you hit something you've been working toward and feel that itch to already be reaching for the next one — stop. Just be. Say out loud, to someone, not just in your head: "That was enough." Let it be enough for a day before you let yourself want more.
Style: Open your closet tomorrow morning and dress for the woman you're becoming, not the mood you woke up in. Not for the room. For you.
Environment: Look at your shelf, your feed, your inbox. Find one thing quietly and remove it. Replace it with something that mirrors back who you're becoming.
It is in the little things that you do every single day. It is choosing to read a different book, it is choosing to listen to something different, it is choosing even a different way to drive to work. It is all of these little changes in your environment and how you are showing up.
Who you want to be was never predetermined — it is a choice hiding in a habit. So this week, choose your pillar, make one deliberate change, and let it be proof.
With love in beauty defined,
Christina Marcos
Know a woman still waiting for permission to become her? Send me her email address to add to the platform.
And forward this to her. Tell her the choice was always hers.
herloom • bloom where you are planted